Holy Water – Funeral Symbols | Funeral Facts with Deacon Marc
Deacon Marc discusses the symbolism and use of holy water in Catholic funeral services.
To Have a Funeral Mass | Funeral Facts with Deacon Marc
Below is a transcript the the video:
Hello welcome and to the funeral facts with Deacon Marc this week we’re going to talk about the question of do you need to have a funeral mass?
Oftentimes we have individuals come up to me and say you know what mom went to mass all the time but we don’t go to mass anymore so we don’t really need the mass. Do we still need to have the funeral mass?
You want this simple answer?
Yes!
Because the funeral mass is not for us it’s partially for us but it’s more so for that individual who’s passed away. It’s their final time to be in the church in the presence of the Eucharist and we believe that we are giving that person the prayers for the journey to the heavenly father.
For it says in the catechism;
“She the church asks to purify this child of their sins and the consequences and to the pascal fullness of the table of the Kingdom”
So during the funeral mass what we’re doing is we are coming to our heavenly father who is fully merciful and loves us of the eternally and saying we’ll pray for this person and we’re commending them over to you and so when we have the funeral mass yes it’s helpful to all those that are here in the congregation to help us fill that void of loss that we have.
Remember that God gave us his love and that our gift is a total gift to us but one of the amazing reasons why we have the funeral mass is so for that loved one passed away could be here in the presence of Eucharist in communion with the entire church as we turn that individual over to the love and mercy of God so do you want to have a funeral mass?
Yes!
And should you have a funeral mass for your loved one?
Absolutely!
That’s funeral facts of Deacon Marc for this week
Make it a great week!
To learn more about our funeral services, visit our website: https://cfcscolorado.org/services/funeral/
Funeral Etiquette | Funeral Facts with Deacon Marc
Below is a transcript the the video:
What do you do and what don’t you do? This is Deacon Marc with the funeral facts and today we’re going to talk about funerals and what to expect and how to act, because most of us don’t attend a funeral that often and we often get a lot of questions around funerals and how do you actually expect what you do so let me give you a couple pointers today.
First of all what do you wear? This is not a chance for you to bring out your fluorescent orange vest or your pink flamboyant tie or anything like that. It really is still traditional black navy dark solid colors. You always want to dress traditionally for a funeral modestly for a funeral, darker colors.
Second piece people ask me is, what do I bring to the funeral? Do I bring a gift to them? Do I get a gift card for them? What do I do? and typically what is generally there’s nothing expected. Bringing yourself is what’s most important but if you did want to really bring something bring them a card with a nice note in there that you’re praying for them that they can read later. Some people do like to bring flowers to leave at the graveside with to leave with the family but really flowers or card is what to do.
If you really want to bring something I could tell you what not to bring, your cell phone. Leave it totally in the car there’s no need for you to have the type cell phone really could become a distraction to yourself if you think you’re gonna be taking pictures, no, just leave it in the car there’s no need to have it. There’s no need to have it there let yourself be focused on this time with the family.
Speaking of time, be on time and stay for the entire time arrive early stay till the end and we never know how long a funeral is gonna be that priest homily can be extra long the eulogy can be long good the long and so plan for adequate time you being there is about you being present for that family so give yourself plenty of time in the day to be present for that funeral.
At the same point in time be prepared may want to bring a little bottle of water with you so that in case your throat gets parched with tissues with you if you think you have a cold or it might get teary eyed bringing some mints with you for the wonderful breath that we all have. But come prepared to the funeral with some items so that you don’t have to walk out during the funeral to help with those type of things
Finally be there for the family be present for the family and the biggest one of the biggest pieces of funeral etiquette that I can give you is be sure to say you’re condolences to the family and don’t be one of those who sneaks out the back door and avoid saying goodbye to the family. What really needs to happen at that time is for you to just go up to the family and give your condolences I’ve done another video on how to get those condolences but for right now just plan on having that difficult time going up to the family telling them I’m sorry giving them a hug if it’s appropriate and letting them know that you’re here for them these are just a couple of funeral etiquette ideas for you to help you through that funeral if you may have one up here in the near future.
This is funeral facts with Deacon Marc make it great day and God bless.
To learn more about our funeral services, visit our website: https://cfcscolorado.org/services/funeral/
The Funeral Liturgy (The Mass) │ by Deacon Marc
The Funeral Liturgy (The Mass)
Do we really have to have a Funeral Mass (or Funeral Liturgy Outside of Mass)? What if no one is going to come? These are two questions I often receive from individuals when I discuss funerals with them. The answer is a strong YES! While the Funeral Mass is partially for the living, it is more so for the deceased. There are graces for the decedent that come in having a Funeral Liturgy. This is the last opportunity for your body to be present in front of the Eucharist – the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Christ. Yes, you want to have a Funeral Liturgy. Yes, when possible and feasible, you want to have a Funeral Mass.
As the Eucharist is the source and summit of our faith, it should be of no surprise that the Funeral Liturgy is the central part of the Order of Christian Funerals. While you can utilize the Funeral Liturgy Outside of Mass for specific reasons, the Funeral Mass is the typical and ordinary form of liturgy used within the Order of Christian Funerals. The Funeral Mass is always the preferred liturgy. Whether you have a traditional casket burial or a cremation burial, individuals can have a funeral Mass. That said, the preference is always to have the full body present. This means the preference is to have cremation take place following the Mass.
Those attending a Funeral Mass will find it very similar to their Sunday Mass with a few additions. You have the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist. If this is the first time the body is coming into the Church, the Rite of Reception takes place at the start of the Mass. During this rite, a pall is placed on the casket and the casket is blessed with holy water prior to processing to the front of the church. However, if the body is cremated, the pall is not utilized. After the Liturgy of the Eucharist; the Funeral Mass ends with Commendation Prayers. This Funeral Liturgy Outside of Mass has most of the same components except the Liturgy of the Eucharist is omitted.
Often, people ask if they can have a eulogy at the Funeral Liturgy. The Archdiocese of Denver does allow for one short eulogy just prior to the Commendation Prayers, and it must be noted that the ideal time for the eulogies is at the Vigil.
The focus of the Funeral Liturgy is on God’s love for us. There is no greater example of His love than Jesus dying on the cross for each of us. This is what we celebrate at every Mass. We have one final opportunity to participate in this celebration at our Funeral Mass. Do you really want to miss out on that celebration? I don’t! I don’t want to miss the opportunity for the graces that come forth, nor the opportunity for my loved one to fill the void of loss with faith.
Deacon Marc Nestorick
Outreach Manager
Catholic Funeral & Cemetery Services of Colorado
For more information, visit our website: https://cfcscolorado.org/services/funeral/
The Catholic Church on Natural Burial / “Green Burial” │ Funeral Facts
Below is a transcript the the video:
Hello and welcome to the funeral facts with Deacon Marc
We’ve been going on about a three-week now this is our 4th edition around the final disposition. We talked about what his final disposition? The traditional ways of final disposition, the not so traditional but permitted ways, and then last week we talked about non options and why they were non option.
This week we’re going to talk about a question that like goes on the fringe of all that and it all comes down to how do you define this answer.
Is natural burial permitted?
And anytime, I get that question all the time, can I have natural burial? and first thing I gotta ask them is: what do you consider a natural burial? because in many cases they go back into the composting and different things like that when we’ve already talked about that and that’s not a go and this is why it’s not a go, but we can do an environmentally friendly burial and the church embraces and encourages us to respect the environment and to be environmental friendly so natural burial done properly within the Catholic view is something that is greatly permitted.
So what is a natural burial that is environmentally friendly and aligned with Catholic teaching? And so I can talk about a couple of different things first of all, you don’t have to be embalmed. You can say no to embalming we don’t have to have all those chemicals in your body we don’t have to have all those chemicals in the world you can say no to embalming.
I do need to let you know though if you say no to embalming you have to have a closed casket in most cases. Most cases, most funeral homes will not let you have an unemblamed, open casket. I don’t think your family wants to have, see you unembalmed in an open casket. It just is not, the body deteriorates way too quickly. so you don’t have to have embalming.
You don’t have to have a casket, in most cases. I’ve had people asking I buried in a big sheet type of thing and the answer is yes there’s no requirement that you have a casket. Can I be buried directly on the ground? Can I my body be touching dirt? The answer is yes you can.
And then the final thing I’ve been asked is can we do it so that there’s no machinery digging the grave the answer is yes depending upon the cemetery you can do that, but it probably is going to be very expensive because it costs a lot of money to hand dig the hole that is needed for proper burial.
So those are things that you can do people to minimize the environmental impact the and all that on on the environment is that you can do no embalming, you can do no casket, you can do directly upon the ground, and you could do no machinery if you wanted to do so.
All those contribute to a natural burial so really you can have a burial where someone passes away and you’re put into the ground, but you gotta talk to the cemetery because even in our cemetery we do have one condition upon all that is that we do require that there is a cement vault placed over top of your body so that it prevents the ground from caving in.
What we don’t want to have happen is a safety issue where we have this flat cemetery then all of a sudden we have this deep ditch that is provides with the safety issue and an issue for us to do the landscaping and upkeep of it and so in our cemetery you can be buried on the ground but you have to have a cement vault over top of you to prevent that ground from caving in and make sure that it’s a safety issue.
So all those things can be done it really is a matter of if you want a natural burial call it the cemetery call us up talk to us here about all of it Saints Simeon we can work through the different issues with you and talk to you through what you can and cannot do but in the bottom line is; We want to be environmentally friendly we want to support human being environmentally friendly and there’s a lot that we can do to accomplish that
That is this week’s funeral facts with Deacon Marc make it a great day.
For more information about Catholic Church teaching, visit our website: https://cfcscolorado.org/catholic-teaching/
The Vigil │ by Deacon Marc
The Vigil
My grandfather passed away when I was a young child. He was a firefighter and passed away while fighting a fire. I can remember going to the Vigil and leaning over the casket. Unsure of what to do, a family member whispered in my ear telling me to say goodbye and ask God to bless him “for a safe trip to God.” While my family member did not realize it, she summarized in her short whisper the importance of the Vigil in the Order of Christian Funerals.
The Vigil is held prior to the funeral liturgy (Funeral Mass) with the recommendation that it be held “well before” the funeral liturgy. Typically and traditionally this means at least the night before the liturgy. The Vigil may also be held over a series of days. The Vigil is the opportunity for the family to come together to pray as a community for the person who passed away (intercessory prayer), and to remember and share stories of the loved one who passed away. This is the ideal time for eulogies as family and friends are coming together often for the first time.
As the Vigil is a time for intercessory prayer, the Rosary is often part of a Vigil. The Rosary is such a traditional part of the Vigil that often times the Vigil is referred to as “The Rosary.” The Rosary is one of the most widely used forms of intercessory prayer to the Blessed Mother. With each Hail Mary, we are asking Mary to pray for us now and at the hour of our death. While the Rosary can be done in place of the Vigil, there are fruits to doing the Vigil with the Rosary.
The Vigil is often done within the “Viewing.” During the Viewing there can be an open or closed casket. If the individual is cremated, the cremated remains may be present. While the viewing may be several hours, the Vigil is a formal time of prayer often within the Viewing.
Unfortunately, today many are opting to forgo the Vigil or place the Vigil immediately prior to the Mass. This often is done to allow more people to attend. That said, there are many benefits to having the Vigil at least the night before the Funeral Liturgy. This allows the family to begin the grieving process prior the liturgy providing both spiritual and psychological benefits. Whenever possible, we should learn from the centuries of experience of our Church and hold the Vigil the night before the liturgy. This Vigil is a key part of the Order of Christian Funerals and offers the opportunity to fill the void of loss with faith.
Deacon Marc Nestorick
Outreach Manager
Catholic Funeral & Cemetery Services of Colorado
For more information, visit our website: https://cfcscolorado.org/services/funeral/
Why Have a Christian Funeral? │ by Deacon Marc
Why Have a Christian Funeral?
Unfortunately, in the world today too many of our children and grandchildren have left the Catholic faith. The pressures of this modern world on our young people are enormous. It is important for all to regularly pray and ask for St. Monica’s intercession to help bring these family members back to the Church. We have a great opportunity at funerals to help family members who have left the Church, come back to the Church when they experience the beauty in the Order of Christian Funerals. At the same time, I all too often have conversations with individuals who have lost a parent that do not want to have a Catholic Mass for their mother or father. At times, they do not want any part of the Order of Christian Funerals. Often they tell me that they are no longer Catholic and don’t feel like they need the Mass or other services. It is at that point I need to remind them of the reasons we have funerals. I need to further remind them that the funeral is not just for the living, but for the loved one who passed away.
While there are many reasons we have funerals, there are four primary reasons the Church has funerals. First, we have funerals to praise God. In this time of need, we come back to the Creator and praise Him for creating us and our loved one with love. Secondly, we thank God for His mercy and love. It is His mercy and love that gives us hope in ever lasting life. At the funeral, we are reminded of God’s mercy and love by giving thanks for this love and the life of our deceased loved one. Third, we pray for our deceased loved ones’ soul. Christ is very clear in the Gospels that not everyone will go to Heaven. As a Church, we believe that our prayers assist people on their purification in purgatory, and their journey to the Heavenly Father. A significant reason we have a Mass and the other stages of the Order of Christian Funerals is both for the graces the deceased receives and the opportunity to pray for the loved one who passed away. Finally, we have funerals to fill the void of loss with faith. When we lose an someone we love, there is a void in our life. Too often we try to fill that void in unhealthy and potentially harmful ways. The funeral allows us to come together as a community and fill that void with the love of God.
While there are many other reasons we have funerals, this is why it is important to have a Catholic Funeral. While many experience the disappointment and pain of their children leaving the faith, it is important for us to make it clear to our children, family, and friends, that we want a Catholic funeral for the graces and gifts it provides to ourselves and those attending our funeral. One way to do this is to pre-plan your funeral arrangements in advance. Your parish and the Archdiocese of Denver Catholic Funeral and Cemetery Services can help you in planning the various aspects of your funeral and cemetery services. This is a beautiful gift you can give your family to help them fill the void of loss with faith.
Deacon Marc Nestorick
Outreach Manager
Catholic Funeral & Cemetery Services of Colorado
For more information, visit our website: https://cfcscolorado.org/services/funeral/
The Order of Christian Funerals │ by Deacon Marc
The Order of Christian Funerals
When I was 14, one of my closest friends passed away. I was confused. I was angry. I didn’t know what to expect. Thankfully, I had my parents to walk me through and support me through the journey. I can remember vividly walking into the funeral home as a 14 year old boy. I showed no emotion. My mind was swirling. I was thankful to see my friend one last time. I did begin to find some joy when we were led in prayer by a priest which was followed by sharing stories. I spoke about the times we went camping and the mentoring he provided me as a young scout. The following day, we then went to the Catholic Church were we celebrated the Mass. I can remember my friend being wheeled in his casket down the long aisle. Within the Mass, my feelings all came to a head and this 14 year old strong boy started to cry, really cry. I finally allowed myself to surrender in the presence of God to all the emotions I was feeling. As he was carried out of the Church, I can clearly remember singing the hymn “On Eagles Wings” and asking God to help strengthen me. We left the church and began the procession to the cemetery. At the cemetery, the crying continued but I received comfort when the priest explained we were going to trust my friend to God. The parents wanted to witness his final placement privately. Therefore, after we finished the prayers, everyone started to leave. I was one of the last. I walked up and tapped on his casket twice asking God to care for my friend and to strengthen me. It was not long after that final goodbye that the tears dried up. I went to the reception where we continued to share memories of my friend.
Unbeknownst to me, at that time, I experienced the beauty of the Order of Christian Funerals and its three parts. The church has the tradition of walking individuals through three distinct parts: the Vigil, the Funeral Liturgy (typically a Funeral Mass), and the Committal. These parts represent a journey from the home, to the church, and then to the cemetery. These parts all include time for prayer and to varying degrees time to remember the individual who passed away. Each of these traditions is designed to help individuals spiritually and psychologically move through the experience of losing someone and transitioning to a new way of life without that person. The practices of the Order of Christian Funerals are built on many years of tradition, scripture, and Church teachings. Hence, there is great wisdom and beauty in this practice.
While there is great beauty and wisdom in the Order of Christian Funerals, our world today does not always embrace this tradition. As a society today, we often want things done quickly. All too often I see families combining the three parts so that they take place back, to back, to back. In other cases, individuals will skip one or more parts. In doing so, individuals are often not only robbing themselves of opportunities to grow through this process both spiritually and psychologically, but in many cases they are foregoing graces for themselves and the deceased. I am so thankful I was able to experience the Order of Christian Funerals when my friend passed away. I was able to say goodbye to my friend, grow in love for God, and embrace a faith-filled community. It was truly an experience of filling the void of loss with faith.
Deacon Marc Nestorick
Outreach Manager
Catholic Funeral & Cemetery Services of Colorado
For more information, visit our website: https://cfcscolorado.org/services/funeral/
Planning Your Funeral Needs – the Church │ Funeral Facts with Deacon Marc
Below is a transcript the the video:
Hello and welcome to this week’s Funeral Facts with Deacon Mark.
This is actually the fourth video of the series where we’ve been talking about pre-planning.
So, our first one, we talked about the benefits of pre-planning, how it gives you peace of mind and make sure that your desires are oriented, it saves you money, a lot of and relieves the stress of your family members at that time and so, lot of benefits to it.
Then, we went into a little bit about what’s involved with pre-planning at the cemetery and talked about the important of getting working with a real professional and help guide you in just like you get a real estate agent help you with the house. Really recommend having somebody work with you through all the different questions so that they can get the best space for your final internment.
And then, we talked about the funeral home side of things and planning the funeral home side of things.
So, there’s a third piece of planning that needs to take place and that’s the church and the services are going to be taking place and we always recommend, we’re a ministry of the Archdiocese of Denver. We always recommend people go to their parishes for that planning and they can help you plan what readings you want, what kind of music you want. If you have preferences to who would say the funeral, mass, service, whatever you may have. They can help you with those kinds of decisions.
At the same point in time, we do have some resources here to help you with that as well and one of the things I want to offer to you is we do have a free planning guide that you’re welcome to request through our website that we’ll put up here on the screen for you.
We can send this to you digitally, give it to you for free, and it really is nice. It walks you through a lot of different things to plan for the church. So, all the readings are in here and we have samples of songs that can be used, hymns that can be used but then, also and it talks about what records should be gathered, how you should have everything one place, a lot of great resources in this book that we can get to you for free.
So, we offer this to you as a good way to help you continue this planning process or begin planning process so we got the four pieces why pre plan is important, the cemetery, and the funeral side and then the church and the service.
That is this week’s Funeral Facts with Deacon Mark
Make it a great week.
For more information, visit our website: https://cfcscolorado.org/services/funeral/
Planning Your Funeral Needs – the Mortuary / Funeral Home │ Funeral Facts with Deacon Marc
https://youtu.be/AxO-w3NgK2o
Below is a transcript the the video:
Hello and welcome to this edition of Funeral Facts with Deacon Mark.
We've been going through a journey in the last couple of videos of looking at what is the importance of pre-planning. Our last video, we talked about pre-planning for the cemetery.
Today, we're going to look at the other side of it, pre planning for your funeral home and so, give you a little bit of overview of what a funeral home is, some of the decisions you have to make and then, talk a little bit about the importance of a general price list.
So, funeral home is the one the entity that will care for your body. Everybody is going to need a funeral home. And so they're the ones that take your body in. They care for you. They make they make the final disposition arrangements and then they also are the ones that coordinate services.
It's almost like a wedding planner and also a care for the body of bringing those two pieces together.
The funeral home is a very important decision for you to make. When you're thinking about decisions that you are going to have to make around the funeral home.
There's a wide variety of them.
So, the last time I talked about the importance of having a real estate agent when you buy a house, it really is important to have someone help walk through those decisions for you and with you to help you guide you in them but at the same point in time, let me give you a couple different areas that you can look at and be thinking about in and around funeral planning.
The first is, what is your final disposition? Do you want a traditional burial or do you want a cremation?
That decision is really crucial 'cuz then, it guides all the other decisions that you're going to have to be 'cuz if you choose cremation, then, you have to decide, do you want to the services before or after cremation as the church recommends and prefers.
The services should be before cremation and then, that also leads to the question of if you're going to be cremated and you're going to have be at present service, what kind of casket are you going to use? A rental casket?
So, that disposition question has a lot of impact on other areas.
Another thing to think about is what services do you want and we've done other videos that talked about the Catholic services, the right Christian funerals and the three stages of the right of Christian funerals and so we can refer to that but the funeral home and especially a Catholic Funeral Home can help guide you through planning those services in alignment with the rights that the Catholic Church has.
Another thing to think about is what kind of care do you want for your body?
There's some people feel very adamantly that they don't want a viewing and other people who say I do want a viewing and then there's implications for that is do you want then if you're going to have a viewing is it going to be an open casket and if you have an open casket you have to have embalming.
Do you want makeup? the hairstyle? all those different things how do you want your body cared for one of the final things to think about is then notifications and tributes, do you want an obituary? do you want it in a newspaper? which really is expensive at this point or do you want it on the funeral home website? What kind of tributes do you want? Do you want a video made with pictures of you and different pieces like that and so those are all some of the different decisions that you have to make but it really all starts with that final disposition.
The other thing to be aware of with regards to funeral homes is by law, all funeral homes are required to have a general price list and are required to provide you that general price list so that all the cost are known upfront so that there's no surprises and you should be able to ask any funeral home to give you that their general price list and they should be able to provide it to you at any time and so if you like a general price list for ours, you're welcome to give us a contact here at Catholic Funeral Cemetery Services and we'll be happy to provide you one of those as well.
Hopefully this is helpful in helping you to understand not only the importance of pre planning but also what goes some of the components that go into pre planning with the funeral home.
Let's make it a great week, great day.
God bless and this is Funeral Facts with Deacon Mark.
For more information, visit our website: https://cfcscolorado.org/services/funeral/
